A few days in Sheffield, Hector has the opperchancity to go exploring new venues.
Naan Heaven – Desi & Indian Restaurant (82 London Road, Sheffield S2 4LR England) showed up, part of a cluster of Curry Cafes on the west side of Bramall Lane. On previous trips, Hector has celebrated Apna Style, which lies further south. By coincidence, today saw the publication of the Hillsborough Report, Sheffield’s other football stadium.
Martin and Dr. John agreed to partake in today’s sojourn, a brisk half hour walk from Shude Hill, negotiating multiple cycle paths, with the sun in our eyes. We arrived at Naan Heaven bang on 13.00, five customers were in situ, the premises, as expected, bijou.
We are three, where would you like us? – I asked the young chap front of house, Mein Host. He didn’t move the two small tables together, but sat us adjacent to young chaps who were finishing an impressive looking Nehari (£12.49) and a less appetising Lahori Channa (£5.99).
With the menu on two screens, we studied the Fayre. Something different was foremost in Hector’s mind, Lambed out. Kofta Channa (£7.99) and of course a Plain Naan (£1.25) could meet my requirements. Dr. John opted for Chicken Curry (£9.99) with a Plain Naan and Plain Rice (£2.99). For Martin Lamb Curry (£14.99), note the flexible pricing, and a Plain Naan. A can of fizz (£1.25) for each of us.
Individually, we started to relay our Order.
No Kofta.
Mein Host then decided to bring us the menu. Strange.
OK, Lamb Curry for Hector.
There was no consultation as to what level of Spice we might desire.
The three would be diners sitting behind me questioned Mein Host about the timing of their Order. Who knows how long they had been waiting. The two young chaps certainly did, they offered us a Soupçon of their Nehari.
No bone, a Nehari without the shank/bone. With the red oily Shorva that I could never make, this was potent, full of Flavour. A medium Spice Level and well Seasoned, impressive. A view shared by the three of us.
The chaps reached their limit, the Chana abandoned, they gave us the Nehari and paid for a fresh Naan – for us.
To keep you going – they advised that we would would be waiting some twenty minutes.
The Naan never arrived.
The Nehari was therefore abandoned. In time, a tall turbaned chap came from the kitchen to clear the table. What Mein Host’s role is at Naan Heaven was now being questioned. Where were our drinks? Surely these could have been presented during the wait?
The wait well underway, the passing of time was slow. Hector booked flights to Athena for next autumn, the ritual trip. The three diners received their food at 13.40, again they had questioned how long it had taken. Three stuffed Naan, one Curry to share, Bread with Curry, the antithesis of how we approach matters.
The sound of frying was audible, for whom was something being fried? What was going on in the kitchen?
Curry 55, later Dr. Stan would remark – how many Robins is that?
At 13.55, Mein Host brought out two karahi with the Lamb Curry, Martin tore in despite there being no Bread.
The Naan arrived after a few more minutes, whole, risen, peely wally, no blisters, Sesame Seeds, so not really – Plain, a sensible size.
No eating utensils.
Can I have a fork or spoon please?
Acknowledged, but nothing happened.
Can we have our drinks? – asked Dr. John, whose frustration was most apparent, more-so having just seen his Chicken Curry.
Can we have cutlery please? I need to be able to eat my Curry.
A plastic knife and a wooden fork were presented. I hate eating with wood.
Can I have a cup?
One was provided.
Do my friends not get one?
The Plain Rice was a Euro portion, way more than any single person could manage. Definitely – for sharing. Neither Martin or I required Rice.
There was an apology for the wait. The reality, food prepared from scratch should be more authentic than that served from – The Big Pot.
Is this your first day? – I asked Mein Host. Apparently he had been let down by other colleagues, and the turbaned chap was new.
Lamb Curry
Served on-the-bone this was already way better than was anticipated. The Meat count was into double figures, and even allowing for the bones, plenty of eating here, so good value. Tomato-based, with peripheral Oil, the Masala was most inviting. The appearance therefore said – Karahi – rather than a straightforward – Curry.
The Spice Level was – medium plus, so well judged. With no Chillies added, that is where it would remain. The Seasoning was sufficient to bring out the Flavours. The Oil/Ghee also played its part here, quite a distinctive overall Flavour. Super-soft Meat, mostly eaten with the fingers, the wooden fork was therefore used as a shovel to force the Masala on to the Naan. No Whole Spices were encountered, yet this creation was certainly – Desi. Simple, effective, tasty.
Martin offered the following:
Meat was tender, and somewhat flavoursome. The sauce was slightly too oily for my liking. Spice level was a little below what I would have wanted. The addition of fresh ginger strips would have been most welcome.
Was it worth the wait – no, was it worth £14.99 – no, would I visit again – no.
At least it wasn’t raining for the walk there and back.
We agreed that the Shorva served with the Nehari had way more Flavour and would have been the better choice.
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Chicken Curry
Nobody expected this. John failed to recognise this as – Curry. The excess of Oil/Ghee was simply unacceptable. Just as well John had ordered Rice, this would have been a heart attack on a plate otherwise. Topped with sliced Green Chillies, the Meat was smothered with the most minimal of Masala. OK, Chicken is pale, but the lack of colour here puzzled. Namkeen! Was this in fact a Namkeen Karahi, cooked with Salt & Pepper? John had never encountered Namkeen previously. No Soupçon for Hector, so this cannot be verified. Why had the menu not given more information. Why was Mein Host not able to advise?
As with Martin, John was less than satisfied with his experience at Naan Heaven:
55 minute wait for the worst “chicken curry” I have ever had with possibly the worst service ever experienced in a UK restaurant.
Well, he had ordered Chicken Curry, no sympathy here.
The Bill
£17.49 My share, we paid separately.
The Aftermath
With my fellow diners waiting outside, I gave the Calling Card and introduced Curry-Heute. Many apologies followed. Not a good day to have Hector visit.
I assured Mein Host that I would praise his food, but as for the rest, well.
2025 menu
Your journey has been updated – which is Avanti-speak for – your 10.38 train is cancelled, your seat reservation is no more, take either an earlier or later train, we don’t give a … it rained overnight, nobody designed a railway to cope with that.
It was 12.20 when Hector entered 
Having parked my luggage out of the way, I squeezed myself on to the table nearest the door. Dra
The foliage had already been added at the counter, so no naked photo today. Abundant Coriander, diced Ginger and sliced Green Chillies topped a mass of Meat, some on-the-bone. Beneath, a portion of Rice, which on a good day I could manage. Today was very much a rushed job, the stress of actually getting here had diminished the appetite somewhat. Get the excuses in early. 
As I had approached 
Hot food on a cold afternoon, winter has definitely arrived in Glasgow. Arriving at 
With everything hotter than everything else, much care at the start. The peripheral Oil 
Having over-indulged with Bread, I took stock of what remained. Six pieces of Meat, almost a portion at other venues. I could manage this, just, slowly, lots of deliberate chewing. It was only towards the end I spotted the Ginger Strips cooked in. The Flavours just kept coming. 
Aware of the fact that I had not been to 
What to have, I surveyed the ready fayre. Vegetables were foremost in my mind, so no Aloo Gosht (£7.50). Aloo Gajar Mutter (£5.00) I have enjoyed here oft, but today it would be Aloo Gobi (£6.00), 
The Salad components could have been presented on the plates with the Samosa and Chapli, instead we were treated to the full Bunte Salad, 
Two, halved, a meal in their own right. One, felt not enough, I knew Marg would take a half, the perfect accompaniment therefore. Chapli Kebap, the ultimate Spicy Chicken Burger. Who needs a Burger chain when these exist? Full on Seasoning and Spice, Cumin to the fore, and when dipped in the Chilli Sauce, a total delight. Why was food like this not on offer at the – Refectory – when at university? Why did I not think of wandering down Gibson Street, then in its heyday, and discover such – snacks? 
The solitary Samosa did look kind of lonely sitting alone on the plate. Quite a crust, but the focal point looked to be well stuffed. Marg created quite a plateful:
A visit to 
I knew the Chapatti would come in handy. Served whole and of the Wholemeal variety, I ate way more of this Bread than I originally envisaged. The subconscious – order a Chapatti – had proved to be the correct move.
More Cauliflower than Potato, this was as Dry a Curry as one can envisage. Yet, there was still a sufficient level of moistness coming from the Vegetables to make the combination with the Chapatti work. Again, Cauliflower appeared to dominate in the Masala Mash, such as it was. Not a single trace of Oil. 
As with the Fisch at 
As I approached the counter to pay, I asked Shkoor:
A day in 
Fisch Chettinad, not on the 
Ginger Strips and a modest sprinkling of Coriander topped the Masala whose appearance was heading towards an authentic Shorva. This was not a Mainstream blended Masala.
Two marvellously large pieces of Pollock, plus a third smaller piece, 
A sharp sense of Spice hit the palate. There had been no discussion of Spice Level, extra Chillies were clearly sat before me. If this was the starting point, where did Chef think I was going to end up? The Hector has had his 
The Onions added crunch, an alternative Texture. The Lemon, added Citrus, which, for me, always works in a Curry. As I broke it down into smaller and smaller pieces, approaching – flakes – I marvelled at the Fish. The Texture was spot on. A bit of chewing, certainly not – rubbery. Why so white? Does this mean Fish Curry is comparable to Chicken Curry in terms of a lack of permeability? No way, not if one has had Chef Pintu’s Fisch Chettinad, and the Hector has had plenty. 
The Masala, I was coming to terms with. Far from excessive, I found myself pouring on the remainder. No Clove or Cinnamon was evident here. Then I found a Green Cardamom – Desi, man! Today, the definite – fishiness – was complementing the Earthy Flavours from the Masala. The Seasoning was all in the latter which maybe was doing the heavy lifting. 
Having already drawn a line on the plate for what I thought I might manage, once the Fish and Masala was gone, that was it, the end.
Steve, who is otherwise not in this saga 
On entering Bella Tandoori, nothing was familiar. 
Rehydration, a
For Hector, Lamm Rogan Josh (€19.90), a bit steep, but of course, in Europe, Rice is usually included. And we have tablecloths, so pukka eating today. Clive, determined to find something with a – kick – opted for Chilli Chicken (€15.90), whilst Maggie took Hector’s advice and went for Chicken Sabji (€14.90). 
Three Spice Levels were outlined on the menu. Our waiter took time to address our individual needs. Maggie specified – lightly spiced – whilst the men sought something above medium, but not crazy. 
When the food arrived, Maggie was impressed by the 
Attractively presented, raw Onions Rings were an interesting addition to the ubiquitous Ginger Strips and threat of Coriander. I counted out the, oh so standard, eight pieces of Meat. 
We had Seasoning! The Spice Level was well pitched, and we had Flavour. OK, calm, there was no great depth of Flavour, no Whole Spice, and so nothing 
With an identical garnish, the Masala looked not dissimilar to the Rogan Josh. The major difference was the protrusion of the Meat in the Masala. So, maybe more eating here. Clive:
Everything about that was good. Nice place, good service. Excellent, it was hot and spicy, not lethal, pleasantly hot. Addition of f
The Masala here was markedly diffe
Lots of vegetables, lightly spiced as requested. Not too soupy, lots of chicken, cubes of chicken. Just the right portion size. It’s not often you go somewhere and get everything you ask for.
It’s that time of year when the Bockbier of Franconia calls. Curry opperchancities are limited, to many restaurants are open in the evening only, which does not fit into the daily model. 
Steve texted to say he was joining me, and to verify the train I was taking. For reasons unknown, this was impossible, t’Internet was not working, A global outage, unglaublich!. 
A new layout, with extra tables in situ, and the majority occupied, 
The Board had extra options, Punjabi Kadhi (€8.50) had to be considered. Which – Kadhi – was this? 
We took our seats, the food would be brought to the table. 
Curry, nothing fancy, with more Basmati than I would manage. Five pieces of Meat, four of these would require cutting into two or even three bits. T
Bloody hell! – no prisoners, this was brutal. Tissue please, 
Soft Meat, giving of Flavour, a respite from the Masala. Eating this early, taking it slowly, remember, Hector, this is meant to be pleasure. 
Cumin and Coconut Milk were mentioned on the menu, in addition to declaring this Curry to be a South Indian creation. I initially took the slight Creaminess of the Masala to be Yoghurt, but now we know. 
A pleasant dish with just the right amount of spice and heat. There was a reasonable amount of fairly tender meat. Fresh ginger juliennes added a nice finish. 
Later this evening, Steve and I excused ourselves and found a bar which put on the match for us. 
A Saturday night, and Hector is having Curry at home courtesy of Praveen Kumar (Unit 1, Islay Place, Perth PH1 3FU). 
A frozen, pre-cooked Curry, quite a departure from the norm, and a Railway Curry to boot. This could be anything 
The back of the box gives full disclosure of every Spice which went into this 
A modest portion, but as it turned out, well judged.
The Thick, and not excessive Masala, impressed in terms of appearance. 
Having driven past The Chaat Corner (516 Cathcart Road, Govanhill, Glasgow, G42 7BX) for who knows how long, Hector
The laminated menu was already on the table, a portion of Lamb Karahi (£11.99) is why the Hector was here. 
The artwork at the doorway advertises an array of interesting Paratha. The Laccha Paratha looks close to Hector’s favourite Malabar Parotta, light in colour, thick, and multi-layered. This was not on the menu, nor was it being offered. A Plain Paratha (£2.99) completed the Order. 
I spotted the board with a list of Curry Dishes, various. I wondered how many of 
The chap brought the food after a sensible period of preparation. The quartered Paratha was a good size, thin, flaky, had some layering but was decidedly thin/flat, and brown, compared to how I like my Paratha. A bit greasy too, but that’s the Butter. Wholemeal Flour appeared to have been used, definitely not my favourite. I would manage half, which is good going for the Hector.
Wooden cutlery was on the table, this I find abominable. By the time I arrived in 
A small karahi, and only half full, how I miss the indulgence of the days of 
In time a glass of water, which tends to make matters worse, was provided. 
identify it with certainty. The Ghee/Oil was giving off a distinctive Flavour which put me back in the Charsi road, no, this was better. 
The 
A friend, who has recently become a regular – passer by – at 
This 
The seating area in 
The Dry Lamb Chukka/Sukka has long gone from the 
A flashy bottle, a paper cup, not wonderful.
The chap brought the food.
There used to be two options, the 
Six, I can only describe as – miserly, pieces of Fish were arranged on the Rice. Not a huge volume of Fish, and this was me going – standard. The Tapas must be very much just that, beware. 
What I took to be Mustard Seeds permeated the Masala, whole Curry Leaves were aplenty. Still, I refuse to attempt to 
The food cooled quickly on the cold dinner plate. Despite the fact that I was enjoying the Flavours from the Masala, things were not going well, and nobody came to ask, else they would have been told much of this critique. 
The new Vegetarian Curry House – Saravanaa Bhavan – has finally opened on Sauchiehall Street. We know how long Curry Houses with this self-imposed restriction survive in Glasgow. I’ll get there sometime, maybe before it disappears.